In the category of he who laughs last…

You may recall that back in March 2003 Bob Ney, Republican Congressman from Ohio, directed that french fries be called « freedom » fries on the menu in the cafeteria of the U.S. House of Representatives. Ney’s directive, which was copied by restaurants across the country, was in response to France’s refusal to support the U.S. invasion of Iraq. Now, as the situation in Iraq descends further into chaos with each passing day, it appears that the French were not pussies as the warmongers portrayed us, but simply prescient about what a monumental mistake the invasion would turn out to be.

And where, we might ask, is Congressman Ney today? On Friday, Oct. 10, the (Hello) Cleveland Plain Dealer reported that Ney emerged « from alcohol rehab long enough to admit he defrauded the public by accepting gambling chips, trips, meals, concert tickets and other perks from businessmen who sought his official actions. » Ney’s guilty plea means that he faces a maximum 10-year prison sentence and $500,000 in fines. …Nous Non Plus wishes the congressman all the best in his effort to get clean and sober and to pay his debt to society. To make it clear that there are no hard feelings, we will be sending him a care package. We just hope that La Compagnie du Savon de Marsielle makes a version of their soap — how you say — on a rope.

Jean-Luc’s twin brother Björn Türoque on Conan

A few weeks ago, Jean-Luc’s long lost twin brother and professional air guitarist Björn Türoque went on the Conan O’Brien show to promote his new book, To Air is Human. Check it out.

NNP says Allô Cleveland!

Les fotos speak for themselves. Merci Cleveland!

NNP in Asbury Park

To celebrate Memorial Day weekend, Nous Non Plus escaped from NYC and re-enacted the traffic jam scenes from Godard’s Le Week-End. Our first stop was Asbury Park, NJ, home of Bruce Springsteen, aka « Le Chef. » We played the Asbury Lanes, where one can rock out while playing at the sport of kingpins. It is a most excellent venue. Just go. Maintenant.

Smoking ban incites violence at NNP show

It all happened around 11:30pm, when Céline Dijon and Bonnie Day decided to fully embrace Jean-Luc Retard’s “Le Château” by donning Dior® sunglasses and lighting up each other’s cigarettes, while nonchalantly shaking their maracas. “Le Château” is an ode to the infamous Château Marmont Hotel in Los Angeles, where hyperstars and hypostars alike congregate to watch each other do absolutely nothing. (They also make a nice bloody mary). So Céline and Bonnie thought they’d do a little dramatic reenactment for the show. However, they were unaware that this small action would eventually lead to utter chaos.

In New York City, public smoking is a crime — but only when you’re not performing. (Or maybe also while you are performing?) It turns out a Woman Fan was also getting into the vibe of “Le Château”, and thus lit up — naturally. Upon seeing her light up, a very big (in all directions) man (a/k/a,The Bouncer) allegedly shoved her with some violence. The Woman Fan then shrieked (we thought in elation, it was a concert after all) and slammed into a Friend Of NNP, who didn’t know what was happening. Upon thinking the Woman Fan was being aggressed unprovoked, the Friend Of NNP urged her Boyfriend and Another Guy (who we shall dub Coco Van Damme) to follow up on the situation, which was — literally — being carried outside by The Bouncer. That is to say, she got a ride out of the club.

Then, all we know is that there was a big fight in the bitter cold. Trying to calm things down resulted in the Boyfriend’s coat being torn to shreds, and Coco’s head bleeding, then the Po-Leece showed up, an Ambulance arrived. Quelle grosse merde! Yes, this whole time, as the true professionals that …Nous Non Plus are, we did not stop playing. For you see, le show must go on…

We knew smoking caused cancer, birth defects and that awful cough we have in the morning…but such violence? Quel horror!