céline dijon

Celine DijonCéline Dijon’s life was not always so rosy as you are imagining.

First of all, she is the bastard child from an illegitimate union between two misfits: a disillusioned Swiss man who fled to Paris when someone told him there was more to life than chocolate and cuckoo clocks, and a Chinese woman who fled to the US when someone told her that her country was going to force her to have no fashion freedom.

Céline’s birth at the Hôpital Américain de Paris (which, ironically, is not IN Paris, but in the suburbs) almost entirely drained the family’s resources, as no one had informed them that it was no longer free to expats since the 1920s.

As a result, Céline Dijon was not raised on the right bank. NO. The poor thing is une enfant du sixième. So Bobo!

Impatient to live the perfect life she had envisioned for herself, she auditioned to be a Crazy Horse dancer at the tender age of 14. Tragedy. Her breasts were the right shape, but despite having started to avidly smoke by the age of 12, this did not prove early enough to stunt her growth: at 1m76, she was already too tall for Le Crazy. She quit smoking.

Dejected, she accepted an offer to sing as back-up for Lova Moor’s pop outfit (still in the hopes of getting into Le Crazy). Quickly realizing this was leading absolutely nowhere, she saved all her centimes to cross the Atlantique, where she had heard something about intriguing self-made men. After a little turbulence, narrow seats and NO MOVIE (merde alors, putain de Concorde!) she landed in Queens, et le reste, mes amis, c’est de l’Histoire…


7 Commentaires on “céline dijon”

  1. Matthew dit :

    Celine:

    Were you on the Open Skies flight returning from Paris this past Monday the 14?

    Matthieu

  2. Matthew Whitworth dit :

    Merde!!!!!! I can’t believe I didn’t ask or say hello but I thought, perhaps, you were flying incognito and were tired of your adoring fans and the paparazzi. I used to follow Les Sans Culottes back in the day and you were always my favorite, even with pants. Now I must buy your new CD and become a loyal fan of NNP that will not be so shy as to say hello during intercontinental travel or just on the streets of NYC. I’ll try and catch the next gig but if you’re ever in SoHo, I run an art gallery at 560 Broadway, Janet Borden, Inc. Pop in and say bonjour!

    a tout a l’heure

    Matthew

  3. Bart dit :

    I LOVE your biography… It is so you!

  4. Maria Håkansson dit :

    You’re so extremely funny! I love you and your band. You’re one of the reasons I’m learning French!

    Maria

  5. oncle pixou dit :

    complètement cinglés !

  6. Salim dit :

    Céline, ma cher, I´d like you guys to do a Latin America Tour soon, and come by Colombia. So, well, that’s all, besides the fact that i find you beautiful.
    Love you, and the band,
    Hope to see you soon.

    Salim.


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